Don MacNaughton Coaching

Developing Confidence

“I always did something that I was a little not ready to do. I think that’s how you grow.” – Marissa Mayer

Confidence is something everyone wants, but lack of confidence is perhaps something everyone has experienced at some point in life. There might be times when you can remember feeling confident in yourself and in control of what you were doing , and then other times when you remember feeling that all confidence had left you – leaving you feeling totally out of control or out of your depth.

Certain situations in life can really test confidence levels. Common examples are going through the job interview process, embarking on a new career, or starting a new job. No one likes feeling like a “newbie” when everyone else around them appears to know exactly what they’re doing. Confidence can appear to be something that some people are just born with, but the good news is that confidence is a mental skill that can be practiced and developed by anyone at any stage in life.

Everyone can become more confident.

5 Ways to Develop Confidence 

  1. Find the Root Cause

A good place to begin is to consider where your low confidence stems from. Is it something you’re experiencing in certain situations? Are there certain circumstances that even the mere thought of can bring you out in a cold sweat? Are there certain people that crush your confidence? Try to make a note of every situation that causes you to doubt yourself, and from there you can begin to question why you feel this way. Is there any real reason?

  1. Adopt a Growth Mindset

In a growth mindset, you are open to the idea that whatever your current skills, abilities, and knowledge may be, they can always be improved with effort and practice. If the fixed mindset voice in your head is saying, “I’m not confident,” you can switch this to a growth mindset voice by adding the word “yet” to the end of the statement. “I’m not confident yet” is a reminder that you are working on it. You are learning, you are gaining skills, and you are growing your confidence.

  1. Accept Failure Is a Possibility

We live in a world where successes are widely shared all over every kind of media, and “failure is not an option” is a popular mantra. However, failure is an option in that everyone fails at something at some point in life. It’s through failure that the lessons needed to succeed are learned. Understanding that failure is simply part of life makes it easier to move on from disappointments or setbacks, and to maintain self-confidence irrespective of successful or unsuccessful outcomes.

  1. Stand Up to Your Inner Critic

If the voice in your head is telling you that you’re not good enough, you need to talk back to it and tell it that you are good enough. Part of this process is identifying the self-limiting beliefs you have about yourself. Who says you can’t do it? Why does the negative voice think it has all the answers? Change the narrative and drown out your inner critic with your inner No.1 fan!

  1. Focus On What You Can Control

You can’t control what other people think or do, you can only control what you think and do. Letting go of whatever confidence-crushing concerns you have over what other people might be thinking is a positive step towards building self-confidence. Your self-confidence is built on your thoughts and your actions. You are in control of how prepared you are for the task in hand, whether that’s starting a new job or embarking on a whole new career.

Taking small steps to build confidence will lead to building greater confidence. Building confidence helps to build the resilience needed to try new things; it helps to improve your performance in whatever it is you’re doing; and it helps you to create the life you want. Marissa Mayer was at one point in her life the new CEO at Yahoo. She may have outwardly exuded confidence in her role, but she too had to experience a first day in the job. She once said, “I always did something that I was a little not ready to do. I think that’s how you grow. When there’s that moment of, ‘Wow, I’m not so sure that I can do this,’ and you push through those moments, that’s when you have a breakthrough. Sometimes, that’s a sign that something really good is about to happen. You’re about to grow and learn a lot about yourself.”

New  “High Performance Coaching Course “ coming this Spring.

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